Fetish Freaks!

CNN TV personality Richard Quest was arrested in New York City's Central Park after curfew in April, with drugs in his pocket and a rope around his neck tied to his genitals, according to a New York Post report (which had no explanation of the purpose of the rope). [New York Post, 4-19-08]
Firefighters responding to a burning house in Crystal Lake, Ill., in April were told by three people fleeing that another man was in the basement, chained by the neck to a post. When rescued, the man denied that anything was wrong. Said the deputy police chief, "We're not really sure what everyone's relationship in this is," and consequently no one was charged. [Northwest Herald (Crystal Lake), 4-9-08]

Just Plain Weird

In April, according to police in Fort Pierce, Fla., Amity Joy Doss, 24, grabbed a young McDonald's employee by her shirt to emphasize her dissatisfaction with service and demanded to the manager that she be fired. A call was made to police, and Doss wandered outside, climbed a tree, hung upside down by bended knee for a while, then descended and lay down on the hood of her car before re-entering the restaurant and asking if the girl had been fired yet. She was arrested on several charges. [Fort Pierce Tribune, 4-8-08]

Wrong On So Many Levels

CHARLESTON — A South Carolina woman said she was trying to buy time from creditors when she claimed her daughter died in the Air Force in Iraq.
A paid obituary appeared in The Post and Courier of Charleston earlier this month for Lt. Melissa Hope Grant.
Melanie Grant of North Charleston claimed to be the woman's mother. But she now admits she made up the entire story. Grant said she thought creditors would give her a break if they knew her daughter died in the military.
The Post and Courier received the obit and a photograph from a local funeral home. The funeral home's general manager said he never suspected anything unusual. He said two women claiming to be aunts of the deceased visited the home and gave him information.
Grant said neither woman is a relative, and the photo was from a bridal magazine.

Technology Versus Basic Math

Navigation System On, Brain Off: Brad Adams, 52, crashed his charter bus (carrying two dozen high school softball players, who had to be sent to a hospital) into a pedestrian bridge in Seattle's Washington Park Arboretum in April (bus: 11 feet, 8 inches high; bridge, 9 feet, 0 inches). Adams said he missed warning signs because he was busy following the navigation system. [Seattle Times, 4-17-08]

When Good Grannies Get Pissed Off . . . . .

In April in Bartlesville, Okla., Robert Horsley, 46, allegedly tried to come through a window in the house of a 95-year-old woman, but she grabbed a screwdriver and continued to stab his hand every time he reached inside. By the time police arrived, said officer Tom Holland, "(Horsley's hand) was pretty chewed up and one knuckle was almost gone." [KOKI-TV (Tulsa), 4-23-08]

No Healthcare For You!

Representatives of about 300 Islamic madrassa schools, meeting in New Delhi in April, decided that Muslims could not buy health insurance because the Quran forbids gambling (although they said they would continue to explore ways of reconciling Sharia law with health care financing). [The India Times (New Delhi), 4-6-08]

Our Army, Our Government - Women VS Men

In April, Army medic Monica Brown was awarded the Silver Star for bravery for selflessly subjecting herself to enemy fire in order to treat fallen comrades in battle in Afghanistan. However, two days after her heroics, she had been ordered home, against her will, because generals were nervous that a female appeared to be "in combat," which violates Army rules. [Washington Post, 5-1-08] By contrast, in April (according to The Buffalo News), the Army, citing personnel shortages, ordered honorably discharged soldier James Raymond back to duty, even though he is on medical disability for a knee injury and loss of hearing suffered in Afghanistan. (Soldiers on "Readiness Reserve" are still eligible for duty if necessary.) [Buffalo News, 4-16-08]