Sick Sick Sick - 3 Year Old's Hitler Birthday Cake

http://www.kare11.com/news/whatsup/whatsup_article.aspx?storyid=532570&catid=333

Cake request for 3-year-old Hitler namesake denied

EASTON, Pa. -- The parents of a 3-year-old were turned down when they asked a New Jersey supermarket to put the boy's full name on his birthday cake.
The kid's name: Adolf Hitler Campbell.
The parents are upset not only by the decision by the ShopRite, but with an outpouring of angry Internet postings in response to a local newspaper article.
Heath Campbell of Easton, Pennsylvania, says people need to "start focusing on the future and not on the past." Campbell says he named his son after Adolf Hitler because he liked the name and because "no one else in the world would have that name."
A ShopRite spokeswoman says the Campbells were also refused a couple of years ago when they asked for a swastika in the decoration.
As for this year's birthday cake, mom Deborah Campbell says a Pennsylvania WalMart agreed to put the kid's full name on the cake. (Copyright 2008 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

I hate Minnesota

My parents are still stranded in Minneapolis, waiting for a flight to no where - a.k.a International Falls.

It took me 2 hours and 45 minutes to get to work for a commute that is usually at the most 45 minutes.

It is so cold out that the flourescent lights in my garage would not turn on this morning - and Murphy's Law being what it is - I promptly dropped my keys on the garage floor.

My daughter (while we are stuck in traffic) started whining that it was taking too long to get to school and she was going to miss "chocolate muffin day".

I forgot my daily dose of caffeine this morning - and had to drink a juice box pilfered from my daughter.

I know that last statement has nothing to do with Minnesota, but I didn't want to start a Monday Post.

Most Anti-Climactic Emergency of the Weekend

So, last week my mom and step dad were in Jamaica. I semi-hated them because they were there, and I was stuck in this sub-frigid environment called Minnesota.
That is, until I heard this upon their return:

They were flying from Jamaica to Memphis, and were supposed to be landing. They circled and circled and circled for like an hour. No word from the pilot or flight attendants on what was going on. Then, they landed - hard and fast . . . . . and came to a dead stop. No taxi'ing, no gateway - just stopped. They look out the window, and realize that they are surrounded by emergency vehicles and crash response teams. Turns out that the nose gear or whatever failed, and they were not sure they could land without crashing. Nice huh? Anyways, the plane would not move any further - so they had to be pulled to the gateway.

So, if you are looking for a moral of the story - here it is:
NEVER go to Jamaica without me, or I will put a voodoo curse on you and your plane.

This or That

Some years ago, a friend introduced me to a totally fun waste of time called "this or that". The way it goes is that you give two things, and the other person has to choose which one they would prefer. Simple right? However, this "game" can get dangerously gross and somewhat distrubing. Some of the more "unusual questions" that have came up include:

Getting stabbed in the eye or Getting stabbed in the ear.
Having hemmohroids for life or Having diarrhea for life.

You get the drift. That made me wonder what the people reading (and I know there are only a few) this blog could come up with to top that. Please post away!

Thirsting for NYC

I so want to go to NYC so badly it is not even funny anymore. I have wanted to go for so long - even before Friends and S&TC turned it into a place where everybody wants to go. I thirst for culture, business, and blatant rudeness on the streets. So, I find a cheap vacation package there. But "cheap" means I still can't afford it right now. I am now wondering if I will every be lucky enough to just walk the streets aimlessly . . . . without being a hooker of course.

Addiction of the Mammory?

Ok - I like some other mothers I know breast-fed my child. However, when my daughter was six months old, I proudly celebrated "lactation liberation day". While I think this is a tender time in life, I just can't get around some mothers who are breast-feeding children that are old enough to eat steak! Looks like certain celebrities are not so eager to get their teeth wielding offspring off the titty as fast as I was!

From Fox News:
Salma Hayek may soon need rehabilitation for an addiction.
The actress, who gave birth to daughter Valentina in 2007, says she can't stop breastfeeding.
Click here to see photos of Hayek
She said: "I'm like an alcoholic. It is like, I don't care if I cry, I don't care if I am fat, I am just going to do it for one more week, one more month, and then when I see how much good it is doing her and I can't stop."
The 42-year-old also said breastfeeding does not helps mothers shed post-pregnancy weight.
She told Style magazine: "The myth that says you lose all this weight when you breastfeed! That is so not true! It's like, please, will everyone stop telling me I look really well."

Widow Killed by Husband's Coffin on Way to Bury Him

A grieving widow in Brazil was killed by her husband's coffin while on the way to bury him, Reuters reported Tuesday.
The hearse in which 67-year-old Marciana Silva Barcelos was traveling was hit by another vehicle while en route to the cemetery, local media reported. The hearse was hit from behind, causing the coffin to slam into Barcelos' head.
Her husband, Jose Silveira Coimbra, 76, had died of a heart attack the night before while at a dance.
The accident happened about 70 miles south of Porto Alegre city in Brazil's southernmost state.

Cults and Toilets Go Together Like . . . . .

MAUSTON, Wis. -- A self-proclaimed religious leader accused of helping a follower hide a corpse on her toilet is due back in court tomorrow.
Alan Bushey's plea hearing is set for Tuesday in Juneau County Circuit Court. He's expected to enter pleas to charges that include causing mental harm to a child, hiding a corpse and theft.
Prosecutors say Bushey and his follower, Tammy Lewis, kept the decaying body of 90-year-old Magdeline Alvina Middlesworth on Lewis' toilet. Middlesworth was another member of their group. District Attorney Scott Southworth has described the sect as a cult.
A criminal complaint says Bushey told Lewis that God would bring Middlesworth back to life. Prosecutors believe they both wanted to go on collecting Middlesworth's Social Security. (Copyright 2008 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)\

What is going on with me

I moved.
My car broke down - everything leaks except the gas.
My daughter graduated from Pre-K.
I am planning a party.

My life is dull . . . . .

Crocodile Blessings, But Not Crocodile Tears

Bangladesh police say a crocodile killed and ate a 25-year-old after he waded into a pond next to a shrine in an attempt to receive the animal’s blessing, news.com.au reported Friday.
Inspector Humayun Kabir said Rubel Sheikh and his mother traveled to the Muslim Khan Jahan Ali shrine, where hundreds of people visit every day to offer hens and goats to the crocodiles living there.
Part of the shrine ritual involves bathing in the water with the crocodiles, but devotees are very rarely approached by the animals, according to Kabir.
"He went into the pond hoping to be blessed when a crocodile attacked him and dragged him into the deep part of the pond,'' Kabir told the Australian Associated Press.
"This is a very unusual incident. Normally, the crocodiles are very friendly and do not harm people.''
About 25 people dove into the pond to try and rescue Sheikh, but could not find his body. It washed ashore Thursday and had been largely eaten, Kabir said.

Fired For Laughing On The Job

Darra Kollios, who works at the Trinity Grill in New Port Richey, said her boss approached her in front of a customer with one of the oddest requests she's ever heard.
"I had a customer at the bar and the owner came up to me and said, 'Please stop laughing,' Kollios said. "We giggled -- the guy at the bar and myself. And then I said, 'Are you serious?' And he said, 'Yes, if you laugh again, you will have to go home."
Kollios said she was then fired on the spot.
Kollios said she was shocked by her employer's actions.
"I will say that I don't have an odd laugh," Kollios said. "I did ask a few people but it's not."
The restaurant owner said a customer did not complain about the laughing. However, he prefers the restaurant to be quiet and cozy and Kollios' laugh prevented that from happening.
Under Florida law, employees are considered "at will," which means they may be terminated for any reason as long as they're not under contract and it doesn't involve age, sex or race discrimination.
Watch Local 6 News for more on this story.
Copyright 2008 by Internet Broadcasting Systems and Local6.com. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

Man Pepper Sprayed, Jailed For Laughing At TV

A man who laughed too hard at a comedian on TV ended up being pepper sprayed at his home by UK police and spending the night naked in a cell.
Chris Cocker, 36, from Blackburn, laughed so hard while watching BBC TV's Have I Got News For You that he fell off the sofa, the BBC reported.
A neighbour in the flat below heard the thud and called police.
"I fell off the settee in hysterics and hit the floor and got myself up and started carrying on watching the telly and the next thing I know there was a knock on the door," Mr Cocker said.
The knock was from police officers, but Mr Cocker was not happy to see them and refused to co-operate.
"The bit where I lost it the most was when I shut the door and the policeman had stuck his foot in the doorway and was refusing to let me shut my own front door," he said.
Police then pepper-sprayed Mr Cocker, bundled him into a police van and took him to a police station where he said he was stripped naked and made to spend a night in a jail cell, the BBC said.
Lancashire Police said the officers used the pepper spray after fearing for their safety when Mr Cocker became aggressive.
Mr Cocker admitted in court that he had resisted a police officer, the BBC said. He was given a conditional discharge for assault.

Calling Dr. Ruth . . . .

Female Barbary monkeys often utter loud, distinctive calls before, during or after sex - and for years, researchers have debated the reasons for all the shouting. German scientists reported that the shouts appear to help the male partner reach sexual climax. Part of the researchers' job was to count the males' pelvic thrusts - a task that primatologist Dana Pfefferle admitted was "quite weird." But sometimes doing science requires that kind of sacrifice. "You get used to it," Pfefferle said.

See Through Frog?

Why on earth would you want to breed a see-through frog? Japanese scientists say they're doing it for the frogs. The creatures' transparent skin could let researchers study internal organs and blood vessels without having to dissect the weird-looking amphibians.

What A Loser

SAN JOSE, Calif. - A drunken man broke into a small airport and tried to fill up his car's gas tank with jet fuel, police said. Police arrested the man, 20, on Sunday night for driving while intoxicated and attempted theft.

Whoa . . . You Were Voted Most Likely TO WHAT?!?!

Sixth-grade teacher Roshondra Sipp of Jackson, Miss., aroused parents' ire in May for forcing the class to vote on who among them would be most likely to die young or get pregnant while still in school or get HIV or go to jail. Then, Sipp posted the results, enraging parents whose little charmers made the lists. [Clarion-Ledger (Jackson), 5-15-08]

Split Personality At Work?

Police, including SWAT officers, were called to an apartment in Mesa, Ariz., in June after neighbors reported a fight between a man and woman that included yelling and breaking things inside. When they arrived, they found only a 21-year-old man, conducting the fight by himself, alternating a high-pitched voice with a low-pitched one. He was referred for a medical exam. [Arizona Republic, 7-1-08]

And Half The World Goes Hungry!

The European Union allows fruits and vegetables to be sold only in prescribed sizes and colors (such as its 35 pages of regulations governing 250 varieties of the apple, or rules that cucumbers must be straight and bananas curved). In June, British marketer Tim Down complained that he was forced to discard 5,000 kiwi fruit because they were 1 millimeter in diameter too small and one-fourth ounce too light. (It is illegal even to give them away, as that would undermine the market price.) "Improvements" in the EU system continue, according to a July Washington Post dispatch from Brussels: Despite 10 pages of standards on the onion and 19 amendments, the Dutch Ministry of Agriculture recently issued a report urging further refinements, using 29 pages and 43 photographs. [Washington Post, 7-8-08; Daily Mail (London), 6-27-08]

Another "Toilet Lady" Update

NESS CITY, Kan. - A man whose girlfriend sat on a toilet for so long that the seat adhered to her body will spend six months on probation.
Kory McFarren pleaded no contest last month to a misdemeanor count of mistreatment of a dependent adult. A judge sentenced him Tuesday to six months in jail but granted the probation after the victim, Pam Babcock, asked for leniency.
"She didn't believe that her circumstances were his fault," Ness County Attorney Craig Crosswhite said. Babcock's plight became known in February when McFarren called the Ness County sheriff, expressing concern about his live-in girlfriend. When authorities arrived, they found Babcock physically stuck to the toilet.
McFarren told police Babcock had refused to come out of the bathroom for two years. Medical personnel estimated she'd been sitting on the toilet for at least a month and said the seat had adhered to sores on her body.
She is now under the protection of a guardian who was appointed through the legal department at the hospital where she received treatment.
Also Tuesday, McFarren was sentenced to six months in jail for an unrelated charge of lewd and lascivious behavior for exposing himself to a teenage neighbor in March.

Missing Priest Flying On Baloons Update

SAO PAULO, Brazil (AP) -- DNA tests confirmed that a body found off the coast of Brazil is that of a priest who disappeared while flying over the Atlantic buoyed by hundreds of brightly colored party balloons, authorities said Tuesday.
The Rev. Adelir Antonio de Carli set off from the Brazilian port city of Paranagua on April 20 strapped to 1,000 helium-filled balloons in an attempt to raise money to build a rest stop and worship center for truckers.

Weirdest Monument To Date!

I have voiced my opinions on weird ass monuments in the past. However, when News Of The Weird wrote about this one, I had to post my thoughts. First thing that came to mind was "no they DIDN'T". Second was what is next - a monument to the urinary catheter?

Dozens of spas operate in Russia's Caucasus Mountains region, exploiting the mineral springs in the area, and apparently colonic treatment is a specialty. In fact, in June, the Mashuk-Akva Term spa in Zheleznovodsk unveiled a large monument to the enema (an 800-pound brass syringe bulb held aloft by three angels). "Let's beat constipation," read one banner. Said the sculptor: "This device is eternal; it will never change. We could promote this brand, turn it into a franchise with souvenirs and awards for medical doctors." [CNN-AP, 6-19-08]

Man Accused of Walking Down Interstate Wearing Thong, Fake Breasts

A Connecticut man was arrested over the weekend after he allegedly strolled along a busy interstate wearing nothing but a thong, fake breasts and a wig.
Authorities received several calls over the weekend from motorists reporting that a man was walking alongside I-291 in the unusual attire, the Hartford Courant reported.
An hour-long search turned up David Gebhardt, 42, who was arrested by police fully clothed after they found him collecting cans behind a business in Manchester. Police said they also found a wig and fake breasts in his car.
Gebhardt is charged with disorderly conduct and simple trespass. He's free after posting $2,500 bail.

Company Markets Obama, McCain-Themed Condoms

NEW YORK (AP) ― The presidential race is in full swing -- but not the way you might think. A young New York City entrepreneur has decided to "have fun" with the campaign by marketing condoms featuring images of Barack Obama and John McCain. Benjamin Sherman, who created the company Practice Safe Policy, says the Obama condom carries the slogan "Use With Good Judgment." The McCain version says "OLD BUT Not Expired." According to the Web site, McCain condoms "are battle tested, strong and durable, for those occasions when you just need to switch your position!" While the company can't guarantee the condoms are 100 percent effective, it says it's certain "that without wearing one, there's likely to be an Obama-Mama in your future."

Fetish Freaks!

CNN TV personality Richard Quest was arrested in New York City's Central Park after curfew in April, with drugs in his pocket and a rope around his neck tied to his genitals, according to a New York Post report (which had no explanation of the purpose of the rope). [New York Post, 4-19-08]
Firefighters responding to a burning house in Crystal Lake, Ill., in April were told by three people fleeing that another man was in the basement, chained by the neck to a post. When rescued, the man denied that anything was wrong. Said the deputy police chief, "We're not really sure what everyone's relationship in this is," and consequently no one was charged. [Northwest Herald (Crystal Lake), 4-9-08]

Just Plain Weird

In April, according to police in Fort Pierce, Fla., Amity Joy Doss, 24, grabbed a young McDonald's employee by her shirt to emphasize her dissatisfaction with service and demanded to the manager that she be fired. A call was made to police, and Doss wandered outside, climbed a tree, hung upside down by bended knee for a while, then descended and lay down on the hood of her car before re-entering the restaurant and asking if the girl had been fired yet. She was arrested on several charges. [Fort Pierce Tribune, 4-8-08]

Wrong On So Many Levels

CHARLESTON — A South Carolina woman said she was trying to buy time from creditors when she claimed her daughter died in the Air Force in Iraq.
A paid obituary appeared in The Post and Courier of Charleston earlier this month for Lt. Melissa Hope Grant.
Melanie Grant of North Charleston claimed to be the woman's mother. But she now admits she made up the entire story. Grant said she thought creditors would give her a break if they knew her daughter died in the military.
The Post and Courier received the obit and a photograph from a local funeral home. The funeral home's general manager said he never suspected anything unusual. He said two women claiming to be aunts of the deceased visited the home and gave him information.
Grant said neither woman is a relative, and the photo was from a bridal magazine.

Technology Versus Basic Math

Navigation System On, Brain Off: Brad Adams, 52, crashed his charter bus (carrying two dozen high school softball players, who had to be sent to a hospital) into a pedestrian bridge in Seattle's Washington Park Arboretum in April (bus: 11 feet, 8 inches high; bridge, 9 feet, 0 inches). Adams said he missed warning signs because he was busy following the navigation system. [Seattle Times, 4-17-08]

When Good Grannies Get Pissed Off . . . . .

In April in Bartlesville, Okla., Robert Horsley, 46, allegedly tried to come through a window in the house of a 95-year-old woman, but she grabbed a screwdriver and continued to stab his hand every time he reached inside. By the time police arrived, said officer Tom Holland, "(Horsley's hand) was pretty chewed up and one knuckle was almost gone." [KOKI-TV (Tulsa), 4-23-08]

No Healthcare For You!

Representatives of about 300 Islamic madrassa schools, meeting in New Delhi in April, decided that Muslims could not buy health insurance because the Quran forbids gambling (although they said they would continue to explore ways of reconciling Sharia law with health care financing). [The India Times (New Delhi), 4-6-08]

Our Army, Our Government - Women VS Men

In April, Army medic Monica Brown was awarded the Silver Star for bravery for selflessly subjecting herself to enemy fire in order to treat fallen comrades in battle in Afghanistan. However, two days after her heroics, she had been ordered home, against her will, because generals were nervous that a female appeared to be "in combat," which violates Army rules. [Washington Post, 5-1-08] By contrast, in April (according to The Buffalo News), the Army, citing personnel shortages, ordered honorably discharged soldier James Raymond back to duty, even though he is on medical disability for a knee injury and loss of hearing suffered in Afghanistan. (Soldiers on "Readiness Reserve" are still eligible for duty if necessary.) [Buffalo News, 4-16-08]

MMMMOOOOOOOOO!!!!

MOORESTOWN, N.J. (CBS) ― More charges have been filed against a Burlington County, N.J. police officer who was recently charged with sexually assaulting three girls.Authorities announced Moorsetown Officer Robert Melia Jr., 38, has been charged with four counts of animal cruelty after allegedly engaging in sex acts with cows between June and December of 2006, reported CBS station KYW-TV in Philadelphia.Melia and his former girlfriend, Heather Lewis, were previously charged with three counts of aggravated sexual assault and one count of criminal sexual contact with three girls in his home from 2003 until 2006.Melia is being held on $510,000 bail.
(© MMVIII, CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved.)

All I Can Say Is WTF!?

PATNA, India - Indian police want a museum to display the head of a woman decapitated after she was accused of practicing witchcraft, hoping it will be a lesson for those who persecute innocent women.
A villager in the country's eastern Jharkhand state attacked the woman and chopped off her head at the weekend, apparently because he suspected her of being to blame for deaths in the family, police said. He then walked into the nearest police station holding the severed head.
"I think displaying this head in a museum will create a sensation in society and could be helpful in preventing people from taking to such heinous crimes," Sunit Kumar, a senior police officer, said from Jharkhand on Wednesday.
In rural India, villagers often accuse women of being witches and blame them for natural disasters or for an illness, death or theft.
Hundreds of them are killed every year and police say incidents often take a long time to come to light.

Up . . . Up . . .. and Away . . . . .

A Roman Catholic priest who floated off under hundreds of helium party balloons was missing Monday off the southern coast of Brazil.
Rescuers in helicopters and small fishing boats were searching off the coast of Santa Catarina state, where pieces of balloons were found.
The Rev. Adelir Antonio de Carli lifted off from the port city of Paranagua on Sunday afternoon, wearing a helmet, thermal suit and a parachute.

He Must Have Been Under The Influence

DOTHAN, Ala. - A Dothan man attempting to report to his probation officer and pay some fines was re-arrested when he emptied his pockets for a metal detector at the Houston County Courthouse and laid out more than the usual coins and keys.
Two baggies full of marijuana came out, too, authorities said.
Malcom Williams, 51, tried to escape when the drugs appeared Thursday, but he was caught after a minor struggle and a failed attempt to Taser him, sheriff's officers said.
"He reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful with change, U.S. currency, keys, and the marijuana was evident in his hand," Houston County Sheriff's Capt. Antonio Gonzalez said Friday. "Every now and then you have somebody who forgets what he had in his pockets."
Sheriff's Investigator Rick Clemmons said deputies had to shackle Williams instead of handcuffing him because his arm was in a sling with a cast on it.
Williams was being held in the Houston County Jail without bond for violating his probation. He pleaded guilty to felony third-degree escape in April 2007, according to court records.
It was not immediately clear if Williams had a lawyer Friday.

Kids Are Getting Meaner . . . . .

LEXINGTON, Ky. — An eighth-grader in Kentucky is accused of putting peanut butter cookie crumbs in the lunchbox of a classmate with a severe peanut allergy.
The allergic student did not eat the cookies Thursday at Morton Middle School in Lexington.
Fayette County schools spokeswoman Lisa Deffendall says the accused student was arrested on a felony wanton endangerment charge. The student will face charges in the juvenile court system.
Deffendall says it was well known that the other student suffered allergies. There was no known history of problems between the two 13-year-olds.
For those allergic to peanuts, trace amounts of peanut oil can cause severe reactions and even death.

Owie Part II

Good Friday in the Philippines town of San Pedro Cutud has meant, for over 20 years, that two dozen men will line up to be nailed to a wooden cross for a few minutes each to mark their penitence for sins of the previous year (although this year, the government issued an advisory recommending getting tetanus shots and using only sterile nails). Ruben Enaje, 47, was first in line once again (the 22nd time in 23 years that he has been crucified) and, once again, screamed in agony for five minutes at the 6-inch nails driven into both palms and both feet while he lay on the cross. Before the crucifixions, dozens of other men punished themselves by whipping their backs bloody, using bamboo rods. [Agence France-Presse, 3-21-08, 3-19-08]

Owie

News of the Weird cited a police report last May that an unidentified man in Guelph, Ontario, had committed at least three incidents of approaching women and asking to be kicked in the groin. After seven such incidents, Jarrett Loft, 28, pleaded guilty in March 2008 to one count and was sentenced to 60 days in jail. Loft offered no explanation for his behavior, other than that he was "curious." One victim, saying that she feared what Loft might do if she refused, repeatedly kicked him between the legs, after which he thanked her and rode off on his bicycle. [Guelph Mercury, 3-29-08]

Valuable Conclusions

I have come to the conclusion that the AMA needs to investigate the circumstances of the last few days in my life. I mean, I must have been the target of some evil conspiracy against my body to have a ruptured cyst, the flu, and a migraine all at the same time. I think I might have been exposed to some mutant form of some deadly poison right?

Oh, The Irony Just Reaks

A 39-year-old man who had been cited 32 times for driving without a seat belt (and who finally rigged a fake belt in his car to create the illusion that he was belted in) was killed in a low-impact car crash that would not have been fatal to a belted driver (Okata, New Zealand; coroner's inquest, February). [Fairfax News (Stuff.co.nz), 2-23-08]

More Standards Than Hooters

China's societal self-improvement in preparation for the 2008 Olympics continues. The Beijing Tourism Bureau ordered hotels to re-translate English signs, hoping to avoid such notorious past gaffes as "Racist Park," which is now "Park of Ethnic Minorities," and a cafe's attempt to salute Western visitors with "Welcome, big nose friends." And the Beijing Olympics Committee has been training hostesses for months to stand in military-like precision, straight enough to hold a sheet of paper between their knees, and to smile continuously, showing "six to eight teeth" (even if placing a chopstick in the mouth sideways is necessary for practice). There are height and weight requirements for the hostesses, and each must have an upper- to lower-body ratio of no more than 11-to-13, to eliminate, according to local newspapers, "big bottoms." [Daily Telegraph (London), 3-20-08] [Daily Telegraph (London), 1-11-08]

Judge Orders US Attorney To Take Care Of Sex Offender's Pets

Chief U.S. District Judge James Rosenbaum surprised a courtroom full of federal agents, prosecutors and public defenders Tuesday when he sentenced a man who collected child pornography to less than half the recommended time behind bars.
He also ordered Assistant U.S. Attorney William Otteson to find someone to take care of the St. Paul man's pet cat, "Mike."
Rosenbaum has no love for child pornographers. Last May, he sentenced a 53-year-old Burnsville man to 750 years in prison for taking lascivious photographs of two young relatives and three of their friends and posting them to the Internet.
But he gave Frederick Kennedy-Hippchen, 63, just four years for collecting similar pictures.
Cynthia Brown, a computer expert with the FBI, testified at a hearing Tuesday that Kennedy-Hippchen was downloading child porn when agents arrived to search his St. Paul apartment in January 2006.
Brown said he had installed the Lime Wire file-sharing program to find media files based on specific search terms.
Otteson said investigators found more than 600 images on his computer. The fact that Kennedy-Hippchen used Lime Wire indicated that he was sharing the images with others, he argued.
Kennedy-Hippchen admitted downloading the images but denied sharing them. "I never thought that anything was going out," he told Rosenbaum.
Rosenbaum noted that Kennedy-Hippchen had disabled Lime Wire's chat function and disabled its automatic start-up setting. Those facts, together with the fact that he had a slow dial-up connection to the Internet, made him "a stunningly unattractive partner for file sharing," he concluded.
Kennedy-Hippchen's attorney, Timothy Anderson, argued for probation. He said his client's reprehensible conduct should not obliterate a lifetime of volunteering and good works.
Kennedy-Hippchen earned a master's degree in theology and a master's in divinity equivalency, Anderson noted. He has worked in chemical dependency counseling and recently completed paralegal course work.
Charles Rader, a forensic psychologist who said he nearly always testifies for the government in such cases, said the defendant retreated from social contacts after a bitter divorce, which may have contributed to viewing child pornography.
"There was no previous history," he said. "I'm reasonably comfortable he will not re-offend."
Rosenbaum agreed. "There is no evidence that this defendant is likely to further offend," he said.
But prison sentences also serve a deterrence function, Rosenbaum said. He determined that the federal sentencing guidelines call for Kennedy-Hippchen to serve 97 to 121 months in prison (though the law caps the term at 10 years). Then he rejected the term as excessive.
"I think the guideline is well beyond what is needed," he said, for a man who merely looked at prohibited pictures but did nothing to produce them. He sentenced him to 48 months in prison followed by supervised release for life.
Rosenbaum ordered Kennedy-Hippchen taken into custody, saying he was deeply concerned that he would harm himself.
But Kennedy-Hippchen pleaded for a chance to turn himself in later, saying he needed time to find someone to take his cat and tropical fish. Tracy Perzel, an assistant U.S. Attorney awaiting another hearing, daubed a tear from her eyes.
Rosenbaum asked Otteson if he could assure the court that the government could take care of the pets. After checking with FBI agents, Otteson said he could not, as he knew of nothing authorizing the FBI to do that.
"Oh yes you can," Rosenbaum boomed. "You can take that on an emergency basis to the 8th Circuit [Court of Appeals] if you like," he said. "Somebody's got to take care of the animals!"

Cat Dung Coffee For $100 a Shot!

LONDON, England (CNN) -- A London department store has started selling coffee for $100 a shot.
If the price sounds unappealing, shoppers also have to overcome the unusual method of cultivation, which sees the coffee beans harvested from the feces of an Indonesian jungle cat.
Even so, the Peter Jones store says the luxury blend -- called Caffé Raro -- is one of the world's rarest and most premium coffees.
Made by the Italian company De Longhi, Caffé Raro combines Jamaican Blue Mountain and Kupi Luwak, two extremely rare coffees.
The beans of Kupi Luwak are harvested after being ingested by civet cats, and only about 260 kilos (about 573 pounds) of the coffee is produced each year.
Don't Miss
Is cat dung coffee worth $100 a shot?
"The cats select the best beans to chew. It's rather like a natural filtering process," said Carie Barkhuzen, a spokeswoman for the upmarket store in London's upmarket Sloane Square.
The coffee, which went on sale Thursday, is available at $100 for a shot at the Peter Jones Espresso Bar, or shoppers can buy 100g (3.5-ounce) packs of the coffee beans to take away for the same price. Watch some willing to try the coffee, others not »
"It's not exactly flying off the shelves -- it's very expensive, after all -- but customers are buying it," Barkhuzen said.
The proceeds from the coffee sales will go to charity.

This Is A True Story

All names have been eliminated to protect the innocent (and annoying).

This happened to a friend of mine at a CVS checkout surrounded by little old ladies. She had brought her little brother along for the trip, and was checking out with her rubbing alcohol and batteries.

Friends little brother: I am so excited to learn how to make meth!
Friend: Ignore him, he is crazy. We are not making meth.

All little old ladies stare.

Doin' The Doggie Cha Cha

Click on the link to view some video . . .

It’s one thing to be the person who thought up the idea of “dancing” “freestyle” with a dog, but then you have to irritate at least several dogs trying it out (and holding dogs’ paws, like in “regular” dog-dancing, is not allowed!), and then you’re way overboard if you formed Paws2Dance, an “academy” that trains dance-contest “teams” (with emphasis on the human’s outfits and matching dog collars). (Yr Editor reported in 1999 [NOTW 577, 2-26-1999] that something called the World Canine Freestyle Organization had an 8,000-person mailing list.) [NOTWD ombudsman “Buddy”: Chuck, you surely don’t mean that they have competitions, like Dancing with the Stars?] [Ed.: Keep at it, Buddy; you’ll get the hang of this].

Pee-Pee Play on Broadway

Irish director-playwright Paul Walker's production of "Ladies & Gents" opened for a March run in New York City 29 blocks north of Broadway in a public restroom. According to an Associated Press report, the entire play takes place among the porcelain in a bathroom in Central Park, portraying "the seedy underside of 1950s Dublin," with the audience of 25 standing beside rows of stalls, near "spiders, foul odors and puddles of questionable origin." Walker proudly admits that he wanted to take the audience "out of their comfort zone" to create "a different energy." Actor John O'Callaghan recalled that rehearsals were especially difficult: "One man actually came in and had a pee right in front of us." [KYW-TV (Philadelphia)-AP, 3-19-08]

Duck Gets Order Of Protection Against Neighbor

NEW YORK (Reuters) - A pet duck named Circles, shot and wounded by a neighbor with a pellet gun, has received an order of protection to keep it safe, the first duck in New York state's Suffolk County to benefit from such an order.
Circles was in its owner's backyard on Long Island -- long known as a habitat for wild waterfowl -- when it was shot by a neighbor through the neck, said Michelle Auletta, prosecutor at the Suffolk County District Attorney's Office.
Circles, a white, yellow-billed duck, was treated by a vet and survived, she said.
The neighbor was charged with animal cruelty. At the attacker's arraignment on Thursday, Circles' owners received an order of protection.
"It's the first case that I know of in this area where a duck got an order of protection," Auletta said. "And in Suffolk County, Long Island, it is the first case where an animal was included in an order of protection that was not a domestic violence case."
In 2006, former New York Governor George Pataki signed into law a provision to include pets in orders of protection.
(Reporting by Karen Brettell; Editing by Daniel Trotta and Philip Barbara)

Drug Testing Bandits

Krystal Evans, 26, and Denise McClure, 24, rifled through packages on a DHL delivery truck in December in Crescent City, Calif., looking for their urine samples headed for the lab because they were certain theirs would test positive, which would have meant their return to jail. The driver summoned police, and the women were arrested for destroying evidence and violating their probation and in March were convicted and could face two years in prison. Evans' original sample turned out to be clean, after all, but during the December arrest, she tested positive for methamphetamine. [Times-Standard (Eureka, Calif.), 3-18-08]

If Only We Had Politicians This Honest About Their Crimes

"Look, it is no big deal," Christopher Wilkins told the Fort Worth, Texas, jury trying to decide in March whether to send him to death row or life in prison. "I'm as undecided (about that) as you are." Wilkins even belittled his own lawyers for bringing his family in to beg the jury for mercy: "They (my lawyers) sprung that charade on me," he told the jury. When his lawyers suggested that his murders were not cold-blooded but were the result of drug use, Wilkins said, "I wouldn't put too much weight on that." Before leaving the witness stand, Wilkins complimented the prosecutor ("You're doing a fine job") and added, "I haven't been any good to anybody for the last 20 years, and I won't be for the next 20 or the 20 after that." (The jury chose the death penalty.) [Fort Worth Star-Telegram, 3-12-08]

Does This Trump The Horses Head In The Godfather?

Jason Fife was sentenced to probation and community service after harassing his estranged wife's boyfriend with a special package delivery. Fife, said his lawyer, now "understands that in a civilized society, a person cannot send (someone) a severed cow's head ...." [Pottstown Mercury, 1-8-08]

Flirting 101

In October, the government of Singapore, anxious about the city's declining birth rate, began teaching its high school polytechnic students in formal courses on how to flirt. Said Isabel, 18: "My teacher said if a guy looks into my eyes for more than five seconds, it could mean that he is attracted to me, and I stand a chance," according to a March Reuters dispatch. The course includes "love song analysis" and how to chat online. [Reuters, 3-20-08]

I Am In Deep Mourning Today

Egg McMuffin inventor dies at 89

LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- A Southern California McDonald's restaurants official says Egg McMuffin inventor Herb Peterson has died in Santa Barbara at age 89.
Monte Fraker, vice president of operations for McDonald's restaurants in Santa Barbara, said Peterson died peacefully at his home Tuesday.
Peterson came up with idea for the signature McDonald's breakfast item in 1972.
He began his career with McDonald's as vice president of the company's advertising firm, D'Arcy Advertising, in Chicago. He wrote McDonald's first national advertising slogan, "Where Quality Starts Fresh Every Day," and eventually became a franchisee.

DB Cooper's Parachute Found?!?!?!

http://kstp.com/article/stories/S390190.shtml?cat=1

Parachute found may belong to infamous skyjacker

There could be a major break in the biggest crime mysteries in the country. The FBI in Seattle is analyzing a parachute that may have been used by skyjacker D.B. Cooper.
In 1971, Cooper hijacked and threatened to blow up a Northwest Orient Airliner. He received 200-thousand dollars in ransom and strapped 21 pounds of 20- dollar bills to his body. He then jumped out of the 727 with a parachute on the flight from Seattle to Portland.
He was never seen again, dead or alive.
Fast forward to 2008, a couple of weeks ago the children of a Clark County contractor found the parachute buried in a field that their father had recently plowed for a road.
The chute is white and conical shaped, dirty and deteriorated. Seattle FBI Agent Larry Carr will clean it and search for a label, which could match the chute
to a companion reserve chute left behind by Cooper in the plane. Carr, who's now in charge of the Cooper case, says the parachute was found near the center of the original jump zone identified by searchers in November 1971, between the towns of Ariel and Amboy, Washington.
In 1980, a family on a picnic found 58-hundred dollars of the loot on a Columbia River beach, near Vancouver, Washington.
How it got there is another mystery. Some scientists believed the money bag traveled down the Washougal River, which is upstream from the beach, miles from where this parachute was recently found.
The Clark County property owner says the plow blade unearthed something. He didn't notice it at first, but later his children, playing there, saw some cloth sticking above the earth. They pulled on it, and more cloth came out. They kept pulling, until the chute's shroud lines appeared. They cut them and notified
the FBI in Seattle. Part of the chute remains buried in the field and will need to be dug out with heavy equipment.
Agent Carr showed other evidence items in his possession, including Cooper's clip-on tie and clasp, from which FBI forensics experts were able to extract
the hijacker's DNA. The agency is releasing this information to the public, hoping it will produce more information about the hijacking case.

3D Tattoo Art - Not Meant To Be?

In December, Edmonton, Alberta, tattoo artist Lane Jensen augmented the inked caricature of a buxom cowgirl on his own left calf with silicone "implants" in the skin under where the woman's breasts are. However, within two weeks, the fluid went astray and had to be drained. Jensen said some bodies just reject breast implants. "I guess my girl wasn't meant to have 3-D breasts." [Edmonton Sun, 2-18-08]

Bathroom Hogging Woman Update

WKRG-TV 5 NEWS
A Kansas woman who authorities say spent two years sitting on her boyfriend's toilet may wind up in a wheelchair. The 35-year-old was in the bathroom for so long the toilet seat had to be removed at the hospital. The boyfriend says she developed a possibly debilitating infection.KWCH reports the woman has mental problems and isn't cooperating with investigators.Her boyfriend may be charged with mistreatment of a dependent adult.

The Ultimate Case Of Hogging The Bathroom

WCVB-TV 5 NEWS
WICHITA, Kan. -- Authorities are considering charges in the bizarre case of a woman who sat on her boyfriend's toilet for two years -- so long that her body was stuck to the seat by the time the boyfriend finally called police.Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple said it appeared the 35-year-old Ness City woman's skin had grown around the seat. She initially refused emergency medical services but was finally convinced by responders and her boyfriend that she needed to be checked out at a hospital."We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital," Whipple said. "The hospital removed it." Whipple said investigators planned to present their report Wednesday to the county attorney, who will determine whether any charges should be filed against the woman's 36-year-old boyfriend."She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body," Whipple said. "It is hard to imagine. ... I still have a hard time imagining it myself."He told investigators he brought his girlfriend food and water, and asked her every day to come out of the bathroom."And her reply would be, 'Maybe tomorrow,'" Whipple said. "According to him, she did not want to leave the bathroom."The boyfriend called police on Feb. 27 to report that "there was something wrong with his girlfriend," Whipple said, adding that he never explained why it took him two years to call.Police found the clothed woman sitting on the toilet, her sweat pants down to her mid-thigh. She was "somewhat disoriented," and her legs looked like they had atrophied, Whipple said."She said that she didn't need any help, that she was OK and did not want to leave," he said.She was reported in fair condition at a hospital in Wichita, about 150 miles southeast of Ness City. Whipple said she has refused to cooperate with medical providers or law enforcement investigators.Authorities said they did not know if she was mentally or physically disabled.Police have declined to release the couple's names, but the house where authorities say the incident happened is listed in public records as the residence of Kory McFarren. No one answered his home phone number.The case has been the buzz Ness City, said James Ellis, a neighbor."I don't think anybody can make any sense out of it," he said.Ellis said he had known the woman since she was a child but that he had not seen her for at least six years.He said she had a tough childhood after her mother died at a young age and apparently was usually kept inside the house as she grew up. At one time the woman worked for a long-term care facility, he said, but he did not know what kind of work she did there."It really doesn't surprise me," Ellis said of the bathroom incident. "What surprises me is somebody wasn't called in a bit earlier."

Does This Meet Carry On Restrictions?

MUNICH, Germany (AP) ― A woman was stopped at Munich airport after baggage control handlers found the skeleton of her brother sealed in a plastic bag in her luggage, police said Wednesday.The 62-year-old woman and her 63-year-old friend, who both live in Italy, were hauled in by airport police Tuesday after a scan of the bag showed a human skull and other bones. The women were traveling to Italy from Brazil.It turned out, however, that the woman was simply trying to fulfill the last wish of her brother — who died 11 years ago in Sao Paulo, Brazil — to be buried in Italy.The travelers produced the appropriate papers from Brazilian authorities for the unusual transport, and were allowed to carry on their way to Naples — bones and all.
(© 2008 The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.)

Mastercard Wedding

This was sent to me by a friend of mine who thought it was true blogophile material. Enjoy, and thanks Bob!

Master Card Wedding
You got to love this guy... This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University. It was in the local newspaper and evenJay Leno mentioned it.

It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd.He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding.He especially wanted to thank the bride's and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception. As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the wedding party was an envelope. He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope. Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man.

The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them. After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, 'F---you!' Then he turned to his bride and said, 'F--- you!' Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, 'I'm outta here.'

He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning.While most people would have canceled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong.His revenge--making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300-guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front of 300 friends and family members.

This guy has balls the size of church bells.

Do you think we might get a MasterCard 'priceless' commercial out of this?
Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and friends: $32,000.
Wedding photographs commemorating the Occasion: $3,000
Deluxe two-week honeymoon accommodations in Maui : $8,500.
The look on everyone's face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride humping the best man: Priceless.

There are some things money can't buy, for everything else there's MASTERCARD

Too Dumb To Drink . . . . Or Drive

Pat Dykstra, 51, of Fox Lake, Wis., was persuaded by bar patrons, including her boyfriend, that she was too drunk to drive and so took responsibility by calling 911 from her truck to ask that the sheriff send someone to follow her home, according to a January Milwaukee Journal Sentinel story. (Dykstra then ended the call by telling the dispatcher how dangerous it is to drive while on the phone.) When deputies caught up to Dykstra, she registered a .14 blood-alcohol reading, well over the maximum permitted. [Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, 1-29-08]

Where The Hell Is That Crying Indian?

Since at least the early 1990s, trillions of discarded plastic items have converged, held together by swirling currents, to form the Great Pacific Ocean Garbage Patch that now covers an area twice the size of the United States and weighs about 100 million tons. "Every little piece of plastic manufactured in the past 50 years that made it into the ocean is still out there," said one researcher quoted in a February dispatch in London's The Independent. An oceanographer predicted that the Patch would double in size in just the next decade. A 2006 United Nations office estimated that every square mile of ocean contains, on average, 46,000 pieces of floating plastic. [The Independent (London), 2-5-08]

Of Course It's a Deal Breaker (Duh . . . . . )

A 25-year-old woman was arrested for assault in Bremerton, Wash., in December after fighting with her boyfriend in the shower over whether the man's dog could join them. The woman objected and said the arrangement would be a deal-breaker for their relationship, to which the boyfriend replied that he hoped his next girlfriend would appreciate the dog more. At that, according to police, she punched him several times in the face, and in their struggle, he dislocated his shoulder. [KOMO Radio-AP (Seattle), 12-28-07]

Stabby Joe

Some guy went nuts at a showing of the horror movie The Signal and stabbed (a) the seat in front of him, (b) the guy in the seat, and (c) another guy while running out the door (Bonus: the next scene in the movie, when it was resumed following the melee: a stabbin’!)

Polly Want a Prozac?

Birds get seriously depressed sittin’ on that stupid perch all day long when nobody’s around (but that’s why parrots are now being given Prozac) (Bonus: It doesn’t work any better than it does for humans.)

Soon To Be Featured On Wold's Dumbest Criminals

Despite numerous Hollywood movies emphasizing the need for speed in a bank robbery, this kid dawdled inside the CIBC branch in Toronto, collecting cash not only from the vault and tellers’ drawers but from customers. The silent alarm had been pressed when he walked in (10:15 a.m.), and by the time he walked out (11 a.m.) with $150k (Cdn), the whole place was surrounded by cops.

Work Can't Be THAT Bad!

It wasn’t a drive-by shooting (in Pasco, Wash.), after all, police said. Daniel Kuch had gotten a buddy to shoot him in the shoulder so he wouldn’t have to take that drug test at work.

Sharper Image Sucks - Maybe a Fruitcake Would Have Been a Better Gift?

The Gift That Just Stops GivingNEW YORK (AP) ― You know that Sharper Image gift card you got for Christmas? Right now, it's worthless. And other gift cards in your wallet could lose their value, too.As more retailers file for bankruptcy or go out of business, more than $75 million in gift cards are at risk of becoming worthless pieces of plastic this year."If I knew this was going to happen, I would have used them right away," said Jon Tapper, a public relations executive from Boston who received two Sharper Image cards as business gifts just a few weeks ago. Their total face value is $50."I love gift cards, but now this makes me think twice."The Sharper Image announced late last month that it was suspending the acceptance of gift cards, at least temporarily. It urged shoppers to check the company Web site later this month for an update. That is typical of businesses that reorganize under Chapter 11 bankruptcy, which treats gift cards as a loan to the company, not as cash.For many shoppers, it's a harsh lesson about the risks of gift cards. Consumers spent an estimated $26.3 billion in gift cards at retailers alone last holiday season, compared with $24.8 billion in 2006 and $18.48 billion in 2005, according to the National Retail Federation.C. Britt Beemer, chairman of America's Research Group, says "you will see a lot of frustration among customers. You basically stole (money) out of the customers' pocket. They will never forgive you."The number of retail bankruptcies or liquidations this year is expected to reach the highest levels since the 1991 recession.Brian Riley, senior analyst at The TowerGroup, estimates that shoppers could lose more than $75 million just from stores and restaurant closings in 2008.TowerGroup's figure doesn't include mom-and-pop services like the local nail salon. Riley said such small operations, which are most vulnerable to economic downturns, pose the biggest risks to gift card holders.The gift-card problem provides more ammunition to consumer-advocacy groups that have lashed out against expiration dates and burdensome fees imposed if cards are not used within a certain time frame. More than 20 states have passed regulations loosening restrictions on the use of gift cards."Consumers need to buy gift cards with their eyes wide open," said Jack Gillis, a spokesman for the Consumer Federation of America.Bankrupt businesses also face the risk that card holders left in the cold could defect to other stores just when struggling merchants need their customers the most.Even if bankrupt retailers want to honor the gift cards, they may not be able to, according to Howard Kleinberg, director of the bankruptcy practice at Meyer, Suozzi, English & Klein.Either they can't afford it or their creditors' committee or the bankruptcy court may not allow it. Gift cards amount to debt, and therefore holders are not necessarily going to get paid, Kleinberg said.Sharper Image officials did not immediately return phone calls but a customer-service representative told a reporter that shoppers would eventually be able to use the gift cards. She declined to say when.Gift card holders fall in the class of unsecured creditors, which is "low in the pecking order," Kleinberg said. Those at the top of the list are secured creditors - with debts backed by assets such as real estate or accounts receivable.Of course, if a company is purchased through a Chapter 11 bankruptcy process, the new buyer could honor gift cards.That appears to be the case with Fortunoff, the jewelry and home furnishings chain that agreed last month to sell to an affiliate of NRDC Equity Partners LLC, which owns Lord & Taylor department stores and plans to expand the Fortunoff chain. A Fortunoff spokeswoman said the company is honoring gift cards.Riley, of The TowerGroup, estimated that the retailer did about $32 million in business last year from gift cards.Sharper Image's rival, Merrimack, N.H.-based Brookstone Inc., is capitalizing on the situation. It announced last week that it would exchange Sharper Image gift cards for 25 percent off any purchase, no matter the amount of the gift card or the cost of the item."We thought it would be a great way of acquiring new customers," said Brookstone spokesman Robert Padgett. "We are here for the long haul, and thought it would be good to let them know."Ricki Gard, a manager of the Saks Fifth Avenue's Premier salon in New York, said it has been able to attract new clients from high-end spa Georgette Klinger, which abruptly closed its locations around the country a week before Christmas, leaving gift card holders in a lurch.The Saks salon, leased to an outside company, has been offering 30 percent discounts on first-time services for Georgette Klinger gift card holders, though that was little comfort to many who had thousands of dollars stored on their prepaid cards.Carol Ann Razza, a Long Beach, N.Y., resident and Georgette Klinger customer for 18 years, lost several hundred dollars when the salon closed its doors."You really feel like you were robbed," said Razza, who had a prepaid credit stored on the spa's computer.Experts say shoppers should never assume that if a retailer files for bankruptcy but remains in business, that their gift cards will be redeemable. Sharper Image, for example, plans to close 90 of its 184 stores soon after selling their inventory.On the other hand, aggressive store closings can give some consumers the impression that the company is gone for good, and their gift cards are worthless.Lonnie Miller thought her $50 gift card from KB Toys Inc. wasn't valid. The Wayne, N.J., resident thought the toy retailer went out of business after watching a few stores in her area shut down. Upon learning that KB toys is in still business, she said she will use her card online.As for her $25 Fortunoff card - a gift from her aunt - she went out Friday to spend it immediately."With the uncertainty today, I didn't want my aunt's gift to be only a card," Miller said.
(© 2008 The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.)

Fraud Alert!

So, I heard about this woman who wrote an "autobiography" about how when her partents were captured by the Nazis, she escaped into the woods and was protected and raised by a pack of wolves. Now this woman is in her eighties, living in the US, and has now come forward saying the book was NOT TRUE. She also claimed that her parents were Jewish, but there is no record of their capture. She was in fact raised by relatives. Her excuse? That her new family treated her like they were a pack of wolves, and at her age - she equated that as being raised by actual wolves. PULEASE!

What's Up With Wayne - Redux

Arrested and awaiting trial for murder: Bobby Wayne Ledbetter, Northport, Ala. (February); Michael Wayne Adams, Fairfax County, Va. (February); David Wayne Cole, West Nottingham, Pa. (October). Confessed to murder: Calvin Wayne Inman, Houston (February). Sentenced for murder: Jerrell Wayne Stanley, Orange, Texas (October). Executed for murder: Michael Wayne Richard, Huntsville, Texas (September). Already serving time for other crimes but expected to be charged with as many as nine murders based on recent DNA evidence: Timothy Wayne Krajcir, Cape Girardeau, Mo. (January). Ledbetter: [Tuscaloosa News, 2-11-08] Adams: [Washington (D.C.) Examiner, 2-12-08] Cole: [Daily Local (West Chester, Pa.), 10-8-07] Inman: [San Francisco Chronicle-AP, 2-18-08] Stanley: [Beaumont Enterprise, 10-18-08] Richard: [Houston Chronicle, 9-26-07] Krajcir: [St. Louis Post-Dispatch, 12-14-07]

People Suck

People suck. Animals should rule the world. Think about it - would we go to war over a tinkle ball or cat nip?

The Girl Scouts Should Form a Mafia

Two Park Vista High School girls who admitted that they swiped money off the table of a Girl Scout selling cookies at a supermarket in Boynton Beach, Fla., in January told WPBF-TV later that they had no remorse. Said one (on camera): "We went through all that effort to get (the money). We got all these charges (against us), and we had to give the money back. I'm kind of pissed." Added the other, "I'm not sorry. I'm just pissed that I got caught." The victim's mother said that the girls returned to the supermarket the next day and taunted the little girl. [WPBF-TV (West Palm Beach), 2-1-08]

If It Were My Ex Husband, I Would Miss

Courtesy of News Of The Weird

The divorce of Anton Popazov and his wife, Nataliya, is about to go through, but the couple are still contractually committed to the Moscow State Circus, where their act includes Nataliya's shooting an apple off of Anton's head with a crossbow. The Times of London asked Anton during a show in Sheffield, England, in February whether he was afraid. "I still trust her because Nataliya is very professional," he said. "(T)he show must go on." [The Times (London), 2-12-08]

The Butt-Cheek Bandit!

Authorities in Valentine, Neb., have been on the lookout since November for the vandal who has approached several storefronts at night and, apparently with Vaseline smeared over his nude body, pressed himself against windows and doors. A radio station called the person "the buttcheek bandit" (although some speculate there may also be a copycat). Asked Valentine police chief Ben McBride, "Who in their right mind would do something like that?" [Omaha World-Herald, 11-12-07]

This Is Why Kids Hate Church

Police in Mount Lebanon, Pa., said in December that no illegal acts were involved, but some parents still want to know why the nondenominational Christian Mount Lebanon Young Life club had staged a teenagers' social event during which boys wore adult diapers, bibs and bonnets and sat in girls' laps while being spoon-fed. Said youth minister O.J. Wandrisco, the skits were not "dirty," but "to break down the walls and let (the kids) have fun." A previous skit involved, according to a parent, kids eating chocolate pudding out of diapers. [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, 12-8-07]

PLEASE Tell Me They Will Clean The Seats

Former Adult Theater May Become Family BuffetSACRAMENTO (CBS) ― Instead of attracting naughty customers, a former adult theater in California could soon be catering to hungry patrons. With the Regency XXX Theatre now out of business, potential buyers are making offers on the property. According to the Sacramento Business Journal, the Golden Corral buffet chain would like to put a family-style restaurant here, reported CBS station KOVR-TV in Sacramento. Some neighboring property owners are applauding the possibility. "They were good neighbors, but it'll certainly be an improvement if the buffet moves in. It'd be good for (the area), and I think it would be good for our property," said Jim Streng. This neighborhood has been gradually changing over the past few years, with Starbucks, Panda Express, and Jamba Juice stores moving in. People who live in the area said they're happy to see anything more family-friendly than a porn theater. "It involves the children, and I happen to be a father myself," said Jeffrey Thomas. "It just doesn't make me feel too comfortable with something like that near so many youth." But one property owner who owns a nearby sushi establishment was not so happy about what's going on here. The Golden Corral buffet reportedly wants this property too, which would force the sushi place to move. That restaurant owner says he's heading to court to try and fight getting kicked out. Either way, the days of the Regency Cinema are done, but the Golden Corral may be facing a rocky road to Sacramento.

Just Plain Wrong . . . And Gross

Man Accused Of Soiling Laundry RoomMADISON, Wis. (AP) ―
Repeated discoveries of human feces in clothing and other items left in an apartment building's basement laundry room led to charges Thursday against a 19-year-old man.
Authorities said Ronnie A. Ballard was arrested after a woman whose laundry had been soiled chased him back to his apartment in an adjoining building.
Residents also reported finding feces in shoes and boots in an apartment hallway and in washing machines where it soiled a comforter, baby clothes and other items that had to be thrown out.
Ballard was charged with three counts of disorderly conduct, three counts of criminal damage to property and one count of bail jumping. Court records showed he also is facing charges of lewd and lascivious behavior in Waukesha and Lincoln counties.
Ballard was jailed in lieu of $1,400 bail.
(© 2008 The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.)

Damn, No Little Green Men In Texas?

Texas UFO Mystery Solved?FORT WORTH (CBS) ― The mystery of the Stephenville, Texas UFOs might have been solved. The Air Force Reserve said that on the night of January 8, ten F-16 fighter jets were conducting training flights in the area. Many of the suspected UFO sightings took place on that night. Originally, the 301st Fighter Wing at the Naval Air Station Fort Worth Joint Reserve Base said none of its jets were in the area that night. In a statement today, a Wing spokesman says they made a mistake and that jets were flying in the Stephenville area that evening, reported CBS station KTVT-TV in Dallas.The Air Force no longer investigates UFOs. About 200 UFO sightings are reported each month, mostly in California, Colorado and Texas, according to the Mutual UFO Network, which plans to go to the 17,000-resident town of Stephenville to investigate. Fourteen percent of Americans polled last year by The Associated Press and Ipsos say they have seen a UFO. UFO sightings have been reported all over the world for centuries, including the infamous 1897 crash of a cigar-shaped object near the tiny Texas town of Aurora. While some thought it was a hoax, decades later investigators from UFO groups said evidence suggests the disfigured pilot's body buried that day was an alien. In Chicago in late 2006, some United Airlines pilots and other employees reported seeing a saucer-shaped craft hovering over O'Hare Airport before shooting up through the clouds. But federal officials said nothing showed up on the radar and explained it as some type of weather phenomenon. In 1997, dozens of people saw lights in a V-formation over Phoenix, a mystery that was captured on videotape and spurred calls for a government investigation. A few months later people reported a similar sight over Las Vegas. One of the most famous cases was the 1947 crash on a ranch near Roswell, N.M. Although the government said it was a top-secret weather balloon, an Army officer who helped recover the debris came forward 30 years later claiming a cover-up, asserting that an alien spacecraft had crashed. Reports later surfaced that a base nurse told someone that autopsies were performed on aliens from the wreckage.

Now I am Hungry

The biggest cheeseburger in the world?

A California restaurant lays claim to one of the largest cheeseburgers ever.
The burger weighs 222 pounds in all. The toppings include 480 slices of cheese, 40 pounds of tomatoes, and 19 heads of lettuce.
The cost of the giant burger is unknown, but hungry customers were given pieces for free.


They forgot the special sauce and pickles tho!

What a Scam

I have come to the inevitable conclusion that the healthcare industry is such a scam. A person can spend almost 18 hours in an ER with symptoms that would alarm any normal human being, and a doctor says "we don't know what's wrong -- go home". I am so angry, I am gonna either cry or spazz out. Not sure which.

Suffering From Football - Am I Alone?

Last night like a lot of football fans, the man in my life was watching Green Bay lose to NY. Am I the only person who hid in the other room to avoid watching this? Am I the only person who did not take part in lunch time re-hashing of bungled plays? Am I the only person who does not understand just how great it was that whoever beat someone else's record for a something or other? I wonder if this is how men feel when women discuss soap operas or some other trite stuff.

Poster Wisdom

Today I decided that people who use slogans found on posters in their daily lives should really be locked away. Just a random thought.

Happy 50th Smurf-Day!

Well, the little blue fellas are now officially old. They have joined the ranks of Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, and Betty Boop as cartoons over the half century mark in age. I remember curling up with a bowl of sugar smacks and a bag of doritos and watching these guys on weekends. They were so cool -- come on, they were BLUE! Anyways, for those of you past or present smurf fans, read on.

BRUSSELS, Belgium (AP) ― The Smurfs - led by Papa Smurf and Smurfette - kicked off a year of 50th birthday celebrations Monday with Smurfberry cake and sasparilla juice. The late cartoonist Pierre Culliford - best known by his pen name, "Peyo" - first introduced the tiny blue figures in a comic strip in October 1958. He called them Schtroumpf; they became known worldwide as the Smurfs. The Smurfs, forest dwellers who live in little white-capped mushroom homes, developed their own "Smurf" language in which nouns and verbs were interchanged. Their debut on U.S. television in 1981 launched their global rise to stardom and made the Smurfs a household name. A Smurf is a Pitufo in Spanish, a Schlumpf in German, Nam Ching Ling to the Chinese, a Sumafa in Japan and Dardassim in Hebrew. "I think that if he could see all that has been done with his characters since his death and the success and interest that the Smurfs still attract, he would be very, very, very, very happy and very proud," said Peyo's son, Thierry Culliford. To mark 50 years of Smurfdom, organizers are planning everything from a 3-D animation feature film expected to be released next year to new comic book collections and a remastered release of the popular 1980s television animated series, Peyo's family said. Peyo's widow and two children will help kick off a European birthday tour in Brussels. The Smurfs celebration will continue in Paris and Berlin. The Smurfs also will team up with the UNICEF to promote children's rights and education worldwide, said Yves Willemont of UNICEF Belgium. "The Smurfs and UNICEF have a lot of values in common - values about joy, happiness and respect," Willemont said. "We also have in common the fact that we are dedicated to the cause of children and to the promotion of every child and the right of every child to survive." UNICEF and the Smurfs joined forces two years ago to raise the plight of ex-child soldiers in Africa. Born in Brussels, Peyo worked as a movie projectionist before entering the world of comic strip drawing. The Smurfs appeared as a supporting cast of characters in Peyo's 1958 "Johan and Pirlouit" cartoon, which was set in the Middle Ages. The Smurfs quickly grew in popularity and by 1960, the Smurfs had their own comic strip series and. With the help of the Hanna-Barbera Productions, the Smurfs became an animated cartoon in 1981. Thierry Culliford said the Smurfs promote love and friendship. He said many who grew up watching the Smurfs on TV during the 1980s and 1990s now are parents and want to introduce the Smurfs to their children. Demand for Smurf stories continues, said Hendrik Coysman, managing director of IMPS, which controls the rights of the Smurf brand worldwide. "Thousands of fans are asking for more stories and these will be based of course on the fantastic asset that Peyo has left us," Coysman said. Peyo, who died 15 years ago, "would be very happy if he were here today" to see Papa Smurf, Smurfette, Handy, Jokey and the troop of 96 others celebrate 50 years of Smurfmania, daughter Veronique Culliford said.
(© 2008 The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.)

Family Traits

I have had occasion as of late to consider the true personality traits of those that we admire, detest, or simply put up with. What has made me put fingers to keyboard on this subject is the following question - Where do we get out traits from??

Do I get my absolute anality from my mother? My lack of financial aptitude from my aunt? My strict attention to hospital corners from my cousin? What about the criminal element in my family? Have they somehow influenced me as well???

I don't pretend to be an expert on things, oh hell - I am no expert on anything. However I do think that I have come up with one nugget of truth. I firmly believe that EVERY family, regardless of country derived from, school metriculated from, or level on the poverty line will contain at least one anal person, one financial screw up, one neat freak, and one criminal.

I said this to a friend of mine and he promptly said "what about those that have no family" Well, I guess you have to work then on being all those things at once, which should make work interesting.

Snow in Iraq? Does That Mean The World Is Ending?

BAGHDAD, Iraq (AP) -- After weathering nearly five years of war, Baghdad residents thought they'd pretty much seen it all. But Friday morning, as muezzins were calling the faithful to prayer, the people here awoke to something certifiably new. For the first time in memory, snow fell across Baghdad.
Although the white flakes quickly dissolved into gray puddles, they brought an emotion rarely expressed in this desert capital snarled by army checkpoints, divided by concrete walls and ravaged by sectarian killings -- delight.
"For the first time in my life I saw a snow-rain like this falling in Baghdad," said Mohammed Abdul-Hussein, a 63-year-old retiree from the New Baghdad area.
"When I was young, I heard from my father that such rain had fallen in the early '40s on the outskirts of northern Baghdad," Abdul-Hussein said, referring to snow as a type of rain. "But snow falling in Baghdad in such a magnificent scene was beyond my imagination."
Morning temperatures uncharacteristically hovered around freezing, and the Baghdad airport was closed because of poor visibility. Snow is common in the mountainous Kurdish areas of northern Iraq, but residents of the capital and surrounding areas could remember just hail.
"I asked my mother, who is 80, whether she'd ever seen snow in Iraq before, and her answer was no," said Fawzi Karim, a 40-year-old father of five who runs a small restaurant in Hawr Rajab, a village six miles southeast of Baghdad.
"This is so unusual, and I don't know whether or not it's a lesson from God," Karim said.
Some said they'd seen snow only in movies.
Talib Haider, a 19-year-old college student, said "a friend of mine called me at 8 a.m. to wake me up and tell me that the sky is raining snow."
"I rushed quickly to the balcony to see a very beautiful scene," he said. "I tried to film it with my cell phone camera. This scene has really brought me joy. I called my other friends and the morning turned to be a very happy one in my life."
An Iraqi who works for The Associated Press said he woke his wife and children shortly after 7 a.m. to "have a look at this strange thing." He then called his brother and sister and found them awake, also watching the "cotton-like snow drops covering the trees."
For a couple of hours anyway, a city where mortar shells routinely zoom across to the Green Zone became united as one big White Zone. As of late afternoon, there were no reports of violence. The snow showed no favoritism as it fell faintly on neighborhoods Shiite and Sunni alike, and (with apologies to James Joyce) upon all the living and the dead.

"Priest" Caught with Cocaine

AMSTERDAM, Netherlands — A man claiming to be a Catholic priest was arrested Friday at Amsterdam 's Schiphol Airport after he was caught carrying 7.7 pounds of cocaine under his robes, a spokesman for Dutch border police said.
The suspect, whose identity was being traced, initially refused to undergo a routine body check "for religious reasons," spokesman Robert van Kapel said.
He said the man was then spotted lining up at a different entrance gate. He was searched and the drugs were found in packages taped to his body.
"We've seen a lot of things, baseballs filled with cocaine, wine bottles, plaster casts, but this is a first," Van Kapel said.
He said the man, who was traveling from Bolivia, continued to insist he is a priest and did not confess any wrongdoing, arguing his rights had been violated by the search.
Van Kapel said that was bunk.
"If you want to enter (Europe) you have to pass a security check, you have to cooperate and you can't refuse a body search," he said. "He'll be brought before a judge today."

EWWWW

Twins separated at birth have married each other without realizing they were brother and sister, it has been revealed.
The British couple's marriage has now been annulled by the High Court after judges ruled the marriage had never validly existed.
The identities of the brother and sister and details of how they fell in love and married are being kept secret. Soon after they were born they were separated and adopted by different families.
Neither was told they had a twin and had no idea they were blood relatives until after their wedding.
Professor Lord Alton uncovered the case when a High Court judge told him of a hearing he had dealt with.